sapphire_child (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sapphire_child) wrote2005-08-28 06:31 pm
sapphire_child) wrote2005-08-28 06:31 pm
Entry tags:
Fanfiction angstathon
Title: All Gone
Fandom: Lost
Genre: one shot, future fic
Pairings: implied Charlie/Claire
Warnings: PG for copious amounts of angst
Summary: Charlie returns to the real world but soon finds that the island took more from him than he realised.
Disclaimer: Yeah Lost still isn’t mine.
~*~
Liam stands tensely, waiting. It has been over twelve years, how could this be? But he had gotten the letter and he had come, disbelieving. And now he was waiting.
People are coming out in small groups of two or three, relatives or friends tearfully greeting them. But Liam had to wait it seemed. While others dispersed more came out, a slow trickle of shattered lives.
Liam barely recognises him when he comes out. His jeans are patched and frayed, worn to hell, and his eyes are much older than they used to be.
He opens his mouth to call out but then stops. He has two children with him, a young boy and an even younger girl, both looking uncomfortable and holding onto his hands.
He has children?
He tries to speak again
‘Charlie?’
Charlie turns slowly to the source of the voice and then slowly begins to walk towards his brother. The two children follow closely.
‘Liam,’ he doesn’t fall sobbing onto him as he once might have. It is Liam who begins to cry, pulling Charlie to him in a tight embrace. Charlie stands there, eyes shut. He would cry but for the hardness of heart he has learnt after twelve years of death. ‘I’m okay Liam.’
‘I thought you were dead. For such a long time. God Charlie it’s like you’re back from the dead.’
‘I nearly was dead. More times than I can count but I’m here now.’
The children stare at Liam curiously. Who is this man?
Charlie remembers his manners then. Introductions need to be made. ‘Liam, this is Aaron and Charlotte,’
They greet him amiably enough but then Aaron turns to his father. The question doesn’t need to be asked, Charlie knows what he wants to know.
‘This is your Uncle Liam,’ he explains. ‘Say hello.’
‘Hello Uncle Liam,’ Aaron says quietly.
Charlotte echoes him. ‘Hello Uncle Liam.’
‘You’re a father?’
‘Only once,’ Charlie ruffles Charlotte’s hair affectionately. ‘Claire was already pregnant with Aaron when we came to the island. But I’m the closest thing to a dad he’s ever had.’
‘You are the only dad I’ve ever had,’ Aaron mutters.
‘Where is she then?’ Liam asks. ‘Claire did you say her name was?’
He knows he shouldn’t have said it the moment the words leave his lips. Charlotte and Aaron look down and Charlie’s eyes darken.
‘She’s dead,’ he says bluntly.
Liam pauses to digest this before answering. ‘I’m sorry Charlie,’
‘So am I.’ He manages a smile but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. ‘Have you come to adopt us then?’
‘Have you got anywhere else you can go?’
Charlie shakes his head no. ‘I wouldn’t know where to begin looking for Claire’s family. I was betting on you coming, if you hadn’t I would have found a motel or something.’
‘You can stay as long as you like Charlie,’ Liam pushes a final tear off his face with the heel of his palm. ‘As long as you like.’
~*~
‘Proper tea!’ Charlie moans enviously picking up a tea bag and pressing it to his nose, inhaling deeply. ‘Oh I could have murdered for proper tea…’
‘You can have as much as you like Charlie,’ Karen says, looking amused. ‘We’ve got an endless supply.’
Meghan is next to her making a glass of Milo for herself, unsure of how to react to her newfound uncle and cousins. She turns and leaves without saying a word.
‘Do you kids want anything?’ Liam asks Aaron and Charlotte.
Aaron shakes his head no but Charlotte is hungry.
‘How about a sandwich?’ Karen asks as she fossicks in the pantry. She glances at Charlie. ‘Peanut butter okay?’
Charlie goes very still.
‘Peanut butter?’ Charlotte echoes and looks uncertainly at her father.
‘Oh you wouldn’t have had peanut butter before would you?’ Karen exclaims and holds out the jar. ‘Would you like to try some sweetie?’
Charlotte goes over to look into the jar and frowns.
‘That’s not peanut butter,’ she says.
Karen pauses and glances over at Charlie who reaches into his bag, rummaging for something.
‘Charlie?’ Liam peers at him curiously when he pulls out an empty glass jar and offers it to Charlotte.
‘That’s peanut butter,’ Charlotte announces and runs across the room to take the lid off. ‘Only a little at a time though…’ she dips a finger in and licks it with great relish. ‘…or we’ll run out.’ She screws the lid shut again and sits licking her finger.
Aaron leans across to whisper in Liam’s ear. ‘The jar is full of imaginary peanut butter.’
Charlie looks up and smiles weakly. ‘Sorry,’ he apologises. ‘I’m afraid I’ve gone a bit odd.’ He laughs a little.
‘You’ve always been strange daddy,’ Charlotte chortles through a finger of peanut butter and even Aaron has to smile.
‘Would you like to try some different peanut butter doll?’ Karen, instead of making a sandwich reaches across with the jar. Charlotte reaches out a finger and gingerly scoops some out, sucking her finger.
After a moment she frowns.
‘Don’t you like it?’ Charlie asks mildly.
‘I do like it,’ she admits. ‘But it’s not as good as yours daddy.’
~*~
‘Her name was Claire Littleton. She was pregnant to her ex boyfriend. Thomas. They thought they could work it but after a while I guess he got scared so he abandoned her. He couldn’t make it work. She was going to put the baby up for adoption but then she went and saw a psychic and he told her she couldn’t have the baby adopted, she had to raise him. From what I gather, he was really insistent, but then he changed his tack and said he’d organised foster parents in LA and the plane ticket and everything. And of course, we crashed so that was the end of that. She had to raise the baby then. I first met her when I was helping her move her bags away from the wreckage. And I don’t know what it was but something about her... There were complications of course. She lost her memory at one point, couldn’t remember anything. Still didn’t remember everything, even right before she died. After eleven years she still didn’t remember everything.’
‘How did she die?’ Liam asks quietly. Charlotte and Aaron are asleep on the couch, snuggled up close like a pair of hibernating bears.
Charlie continues to stare at the dregs of his tea for a moment before sighing.
‘After about nine years it must have been…she got sick. Really sick. Others had gotten sick and died, some had gotten sick and lived. She was okay for a while, we thought she’d beat it. Then she got worse and worse. She was in pain for a long time. When it got too much she asked me to end it, end the pain.’
There is a long, tense silence between the two brothers.
‘When the plane crashed, there was a US Marshal on board escorting a prisoner to the states. He had a case with four guns in it. We’d rationed the bullets as best we could. There were only three left. So I took Aaron and Charlotte to say goodbye. Kate took them away. I picked up the gun. Sawyer and Jack were there, outside the tent in case I couldn’t do it. I said goodbye. I kissed her. I told her that…’ his voice gives a slight hitch, the only variation in his voice since he has begun. ‘I told her that I loved her. And then I put the gun to her temple and I pulled the trigger.’
Silence.
What do you say to something like that?
‘I’m sorry Charlie.’
‘I killed three people on the island.’ Charlie says woodenly. ‘A man named Ethan, Claire and myself.’
‘No Charlie,’ Liam reaches across the table to place a warm hand over Charlie’s cold trembling fingers. ‘You just grew up too fast. That’s all.’
Charlie grips Liam’s fingers tightly, staring at them. ‘I feel so old.’ He ventures after a while. ‘An old person in a young body.’
‘Aren’t you?’
Charlie looks up. His eyes are brimming over with memories.
‘You had to kill the woman you loved Charlie.’
Charlie closes his eyes and his memories spill over his cheeks and onto his cold fingers. He’s nearly forty. He will never be young again.
‘I lost myself there,’ he chokes. ‘On the island…everything I once was, that I once had…gone! Just gone!’
Liam doesn’t say anything. There isn’t anything to say.
And Charlie puts his face into his hands and cries.
~*~
Title: I Don’t Want To Be Alone Tonight
Fandom: Lost
Genre: One-shot angst. And very angsty angst at that ^_^
Summary: Charlie and Claire share a moment of grief.
Warnings: PG. Character death.
Disclaimer: Lost = not mine. Song ‘I Don’t Want To Be Alone Tonight’ which I have plugged as my title = not mine also. Deal with it.
~*~
‘Claire?’
His voice, barely more than a strangled whisper, woke Claire immediately from her restless doze. Instinctively, her eyes went to Aaron’s crib, heart leaping into her throat, but upon seeing the small bundle of her son she relaxed a little and turned back to address her visitor.
‘Charlie?’
‘Yeah. I…’ he hesitated for a long moment before continuing falteringly. ‘I was wondering if I could…it’s just I can’t sleep and…I don’t think I could…tonight…alone…’ he trailed off but Claire had heard the slight tremor in his voice. ‘Please?’
It wasn’t a question, but it was imploring, almost begging, and so sincere and full of pain it was almost heart breaking.
He didn’t need to explain himself to her, she knew.
‘Of course,’ Claire patted her blanket and Charlie gratefully curled up next to her, his face against her shoulder. Claire settled herself down comfortably again, her eyes on Aaron, less than arms reach away from her and the combination of such a fragile, precious life coupled with the warmth that emanated from Charlie brought back unbidden images of what had happened that day and the knowledge that her fellow castaways had dwindled again in numbers.
There was several minutes of silence as both of them tried to fall asleep but Claire could feel him tense beside her. She reached for his hand and squeezed it gently and then quite an awful thing happened.
He began to cry.
Silently at first, his body shaking with the sobs that he was trying to suppress.
‘Are you okay?’ Claire breathed. ‘Charlie?’
If he was able to answer, he didn’t. Claire rolled over to face him and took both of his hands within hers and it was this simple action that was his undoing. He began to cry unashamedly, pulling in great heaving gasps of air between sobs.
Claire’s eyes burned and she felt it take substance, brimming over with the day’s memories. A frantic chase scene through the jungle, trees being ripped up right behind them, the monster roaring triumphantly.
She had screamed as they ran. She’d never heard anything like the monster in her life but what she did know was that it terrified her. Aaron had woken abruptly and began to cry as she ran with him held against her chest, tripping over roots, slamming into trees while the monster pursued them.
She remembered Hurley screaming to run as fast as she could and to keep running. Keep running. She was ahead of Charlie, her feet pounding into the ground.
The monster was right behind them.
It roared.
Hurley had screamed.
And then, silence.
Claire had stopped running and tried to go back. Hurley…Hurley… and Aaron was still crying. But Charlie was there; crying, screaming in a sort of mixed grief and terror and he had pulled her to him savagely so she couldn’t see what had become of Hurley.
And so they stood there, holding each other, eyes shut tight, waiting for the death, which never came. The monster disappeared back into the jungle and the two of them had made their way silently back to camp, a great space between them.
Claire put a tentative arm around Charlie’s shoulders now and held him to her gently as they both cried.
‘Hurley,’ Charlie managed to choke out finally. ‘Oh God Claire!’ his hands clutched at her desperately and he buried his face in her, so like a child that Claire felt a strong sense of motherliness as she stroked his hair gently, exactly like her mother used to when she’d had a nightmare. She pressed her lips to his forehead. Her own tears were falling onto his already tear stained cheeks.
‘I know Charlie. I know.’
Charlie wept bitterly.
‘I know.’
Feedback makes both myself and my muse v.v. happy
Fandom: Lost
Genre: one shot, future fic
Pairings: implied Charlie/Claire
Warnings: PG for copious amounts of angst
Summary: Charlie returns to the real world but soon finds that the island took more from him than he realised.
Disclaimer: Yeah Lost still isn’t mine.
Liam stands tensely, waiting. It has been over twelve years, how could this be? But he had gotten the letter and he had come, disbelieving. And now he was waiting.
People are coming out in small groups of two or three, relatives or friends tearfully greeting them. But Liam had to wait it seemed. While others dispersed more came out, a slow trickle of shattered lives.
Liam barely recognises him when he comes out. His jeans are patched and frayed, worn to hell, and his eyes are much older than they used to be.
He opens his mouth to call out but then stops. He has two children with him, a young boy and an even younger girl, both looking uncomfortable and holding onto his hands.
He has children?
He tries to speak again
‘Charlie?’
Charlie turns slowly to the source of the voice and then slowly begins to walk towards his brother. The two children follow closely.
‘Liam,’ he doesn’t fall sobbing onto him as he once might have. It is Liam who begins to cry, pulling Charlie to him in a tight embrace. Charlie stands there, eyes shut. He would cry but for the hardness of heart he has learnt after twelve years of death. ‘I’m okay Liam.’
‘I thought you were dead. For such a long time. God Charlie it’s like you’re back from the dead.’
‘I nearly was dead. More times than I can count but I’m here now.’
The children stare at Liam curiously. Who is this man?
Charlie remembers his manners then. Introductions need to be made. ‘Liam, this is Aaron and Charlotte,’
They greet him amiably enough but then Aaron turns to his father. The question doesn’t need to be asked, Charlie knows what he wants to know.
‘This is your Uncle Liam,’ he explains. ‘Say hello.’
‘Hello Uncle Liam,’ Aaron says quietly.
Charlotte echoes him. ‘Hello Uncle Liam.’
‘You’re a father?’
‘Only once,’ Charlie ruffles Charlotte’s hair affectionately. ‘Claire was already pregnant with Aaron when we came to the island. But I’m the closest thing to a dad he’s ever had.’
‘You are the only dad I’ve ever had,’ Aaron mutters.
‘Where is she then?’ Liam asks. ‘Claire did you say her name was?’
He knows he shouldn’t have said it the moment the words leave his lips. Charlotte and Aaron look down and Charlie’s eyes darken.
‘She’s dead,’ he says bluntly.
Liam pauses to digest this before answering. ‘I’m sorry Charlie,’
‘So am I.’ He manages a smile but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. ‘Have you come to adopt us then?’
‘Have you got anywhere else you can go?’
Charlie shakes his head no. ‘I wouldn’t know where to begin looking for Claire’s family. I was betting on you coming, if you hadn’t I would have found a motel or something.’
‘You can stay as long as you like Charlie,’ Liam pushes a final tear off his face with the heel of his palm. ‘As long as you like.’
‘Proper tea!’ Charlie moans enviously picking up a tea bag and pressing it to his nose, inhaling deeply. ‘Oh I could have murdered for proper tea…’
‘You can have as much as you like Charlie,’ Karen says, looking amused. ‘We’ve got an endless supply.’
Meghan is next to her making a glass of Milo for herself, unsure of how to react to her newfound uncle and cousins. She turns and leaves without saying a word.
‘Do you kids want anything?’ Liam asks Aaron and Charlotte.
Aaron shakes his head no but Charlotte is hungry.
‘How about a sandwich?’ Karen asks as she fossicks in the pantry. She glances at Charlie. ‘Peanut butter okay?’
Charlie goes very still.
‘Peanut butter?’ Charlotte echoes and looks uncertainly at her father.
‘Oh you wouldn’t have had peanut butter before would you?’ Karen exclaims and holds out the jar. ‘Would you like to try some sweetie?’
Charlotte goes over to look into the jar and frowns.
‘That’s not peanut butter,’ she says.
Karen pauses and glances over at Charlie who reaches into his bag, rummaging for something.
‘Charlie?’ Liam peers at him curiously when he pulls out an empty glass jar and offers it to Charlotte.
‘That’s peanut butter,’ Charlotte announces and runs across the room to take the lid off. ‘Only a little at a time though…’ she dips a finger in and licks it with great relish. ‘…or we’ll run out.’ She screws the lid shut again and sits licking her finger.
Aaron leans across to whisper in Liam’s ear. ‘The jar is full of imaginary peanut butter.’
Charlie looks up and smiles weakly. ‘Sorry,’ he apologises. ‘I’m afraid I’ve gone a bit odd.’ He laughs a little.
‘You’ve always been strange daddy,’ Charlotte chortles through a finger of peanut butter and even Aaron has to smile.
‘Would you like to try some different peanut butter doll?’ Karen, instead of making a sandwich reaches across with the jar. Charlotte reaches out a finger and gingerly scoops some out, sucking her finger.
After a moment she frowns.
‘Don’t you like it?’ Charlie asks mildly.
‘I do like it,’ she admits. ‘But it’s not as good as yours daddy.’
‘Her name was Claire Littleton. She was pregnant to her ex boyfriend. Thomas. They thought they could work it but after a while I guess he got scared so he abandoned her. He couldn’t make it work. She was going to put the baby up for adoption but then she went and saw a psychic and he told her she couldn’t have the baby adopted, she had to raise him. From what I gather, he was really insistent, but then he changed his tack and said he’d organised foster parents in LA and the plane ticket and everything. And of course, we crashed so that was the end of that. She had to raise the baby then. I first met her when I was helping her move her bags away from the wreckage. And I don’t know what it was but something about her... There were complications of course. She lost her memory at one point, couldn’t remember anything. Still didn’t remember everything, even right before she died. After eleven years she still didn’t remember everything.’
‘How did she die?’ Liam asks quietly. Charlotte and Aaron are asleep on the couch, snuggled up close like a pair of hibernating bears.
Charlie continues to stare at the dregs of his tea for a moment before sighing.
‘After about nine years it must have been…she got sick. Really sick. Others had gotten sick and died, some had gotten sick and lived. She was okay for a while, we thought she’d beat it. Then she got worse and worse. She was in pain for a long time. When it got too much she asked me to end it, end the pain.’
There is a long, tense silence between the two brothers.
‘When the plane crashed, there was a US Marshal on board escorting a prisoner to the states. He had a case with four guns in it. We’d rationed the bullets as best we could. There were only three left. So I took Aaron and Charlotte to say goodbye. Kate took them away. I picked up the gun. Sawyer and Jack were there, outside the tent in case I couldn’t do it. I said goodbye. I kissed her. I told her that…’ his voice gives a slight hitch, the only variation in his voice since he has begun. ‘I told her that I loved her. And then I put the gun to her temple and I pulled the trigger.’
Silence.
What do you say to something like that?
‘I’m sorry Charlie.’
‘I killed three people on the island.’ Charlie says woodenly. ‘A man named Ethan, Claire and myself.’
‘No Charlie,’ Liam reaches across the table to place a warm hand over Charlie’s cold trembling fingers. ‘You just grew up too fast. That’s all.’
Charlie grips Liam’s fingers tightly, staring at them. ‘I feel so old.’ He ventures after a while. ‘An old person in a young body.’
‘Aren’t you?’
Charlie looks up. His eyes are brimming over with memories.
‘You had to kill the woman you loved Charlie.’
Charlie closes his eyes and his memories spill over his cheeks and onto his cold fingers. He’s nearly forty. He will never be young again.
‘I lost myself there,’ he chokes. ‘On the island…everything I once was, that I once had…gone! Just gone!’
Liam doesn’t say anything. There isn’t anything to say.
And Charlie puts his face into his hands and cries.
Title: I Don’t Want To Be Alone Tonight
Fandom: Lost
Genre: One-shot angst. And very angsty angst at that ^_^
Summary: Charlie and Claire share a moment of grief.
Warnings: PG. Character death.
Disclaimer: Lost = not mine. Song ‘I Don’t Want To Be Alone Tonight’ which I have plugged as my title = not mine also. Deal with it.
‘Claire?’
His voice, barely more than a strangled whisper, woke Claire immediately from her restless doze. Instinctively, her eyes went to Aaron’s crib, heart leaping into her throat, but upon seeing the small bundle of her son she relaxed a little and turned back to address her visitor.
‘Charlie?’
‘Yeah. I…’ he hesitated for a long moment before continuing falteringly. ‘I was wondering if I could…it’s just I can’t sleep and…I don’t think I could…tonight…alone…’ he trailed off but Claire had heard the slight tremor in his voice. ‘Please?’
It wasn’t a question, but it was imploring, almost begging, and so sincere and full of pain it was almost heart breaking.
He didn’t need to explain himself to her, she knew.
‘Of course,’ Claire patted her blanket and Charlie gratefully curled up next to her, his face against her shoulder. Claire settled herself down comfortably again, her eyes on Aaron, less than arms reach away from her and the combination of such a fragile, precious life coupled with the warmth that emanated from Charlie brought back unbidden images of what had happened that day and the knowledge that her fellow castaways had dwindled again in numbers.
There was several minutes of silence as both of them tried to fall asleep but Claire could feel him tense beside her. She reached for his hand and squeezed it gently and then quite an awful thing happened.
He began to cry.
Silently at first, his body shaking with the sobs that he was trying to suppress.
‘Are you okay?’ Claire breathed. ‘Charlie?’
If he was able to answer, he didn’t. Claire rolled over to face him and took both of his hands within hers and it was this simple action that was his undoing. He began to cry unashamedly, pulling in great heaving gasps of air between sobs.
Claire’s eyes burned and she felt it take substance, brimming over with the day’s memories. A frantic chase scene through the jungle, trees being ripped up right behind them, the monster roaring triumphantly.
She had screamed as they ran. She’d never heard anything like the monster in her life but what she did know was that it terrified her. Aaron had woken abruptly and began to cry as she ran with him held against her chest, tripping over roots, slamming into trees while the monster pursued them.
She remembered Hurley screaming to run as fast as she could and to keep running. Keep running. She was ahead of Charlie, her feet pounding into the ground.
The monster was right behind them.
It roared.
Hurley had screamed.
And then, silence.
Claire had stopped running and tried to go back. Hurley…Hurley… and Aaron was still crying. But Charlie was there; crying, screaming in a sort of mixed grief and terror and he had pulled her to him savagely so she couldn’t see what had become of Hurley.
And so they stood there, holding each other, eyes shut tight, waiting for the death, which never came. The monster disappeared back into the jungle and the two of them had made their way silently back to camp, a great space between them.
Claire put a tentative arm around Charlie’s shoulders now and held him to her gently as they both cried.
‘Hurley,’ Charlie managed to choke out finally. ‘Oh God Claire!’ his hands clutched at her desperately and he buried his face in her, so like a child that Claire felt a strong sense of motherliness as she stroked his hair gently, exactly like her mother used to when she’d had a nightmare. She pressed her lips to his forehead. Her own tears were falling onto his already tear stained cheeks.
‘I know Charlie. I know.’
Charlie wept bitterly.
‘I know.’
Feedback makes both myself and my muse v.v. happy