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The Art of Being Human – Chapter 8/11 PG-13, Ten/Rose, John Smith/Rose
AU. It is the autumn of 1913 and Rose has found herself the wife of a man who doesn’t really exist. Between the fear that she may truly learn to love John and the ever present knowledge of his true identity, Rose is forced to re-evaluate both her life and loves. And all the while the Family of Blood draws nearer to their prey...

Prologue, Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six, Chapter Seven, Chapter Eight, Chapter Nine, Chapter Ten, Chapter Eleven, Epilogue

~*~

It took quite a while for Rose to calm down enough for John to get any sense out of her and when he did he was surprised at how panicked she was over the loss of the watch.

“It’s probably just fallen off the mantel and one of the maids has put it away elsewhere,” he said reasonably. “I’m certain it will turn up. You mustn’t fret.”

“I can’t just sit around and wait for it to turn up!” Rose cried, all but tearing one of John’s handkerchiefs in two in her agitation. “You don’t understand...”

“But it’s just a watch.” John said exasperatedly, clearly at a loss. But then a whole new slew of questions seemed to occur to him and they all tumbled out of his mouth in a rush. “Why on earth do you have a fob watch anyway? Whose is it? I’m certain I would remember if it was mine.” Rose said nothing, merely looked up at him and trembled, and after a moment John hesitantly asked, “Was it your fathers?”

Her grip on the handkerchief went limp. Of all things she’d been expecting to hear, that had not been one of them. “What?”

“You father – Peter?” John sat down and put a warm hand over both of hers. She was shaking quite badly she realised, and as she looked down at John’s hand and then up at his eyes, dark with concern she suddenly realised where his memory of her dad must have come from.

“I know he died when you were very small,” John continued gently. “I remember you telling me about it – what happened to him. Is it his? Is that why you’re so upset?”

Rose nodded faintly and John gave her a small, sympathetic smile.

“Well. It can’t simply have grown legs and walked away,” he said reassuringly, earning a weak smile from Rose. His voice was soft as he continued, stroking her hand. “Someone must have picked it up, perhaps by accident. I wonder who was cleaning our room this morning...”

“Jenny,” Rose said unthinkingly and then paused, worried. “She was acting a bit funny actually. Said she was sick.”

“Perhaps I should notify the Headmaster,” John frowned, standing. Rose joined him instantly, twisting her hands around the handkerchief he’d given her. “Of course it might all just be a harmless mistake but if a maid is stealing personal belongings from the teaching staff then Rocastle will need to be notified. Why don’t you wait here?”

Rose opened her mouth to protest but then John was touching his thumb to her lips and she fell silent instantly. “I’ll be back as quickly as I can.” he told her and pressed a quick kiss to her forehead before heading off.

Rose lasted approximately thirty seconds before she headed out on her own expedition too.

~*~

Jenny was not in her room but her roommate told Rose that she had been out on a bicycle ride to the village that afternoon and should have returned by now.

“I don’no where she is.” the girl said in her thick Irish brogue, bobbing down into a curtsey every few words. “She was meant to be back by now ma’am but I haven’t seen her.”

A quick sweep of the ground floor revealed nothing but Jenny’s bike leant up against the outside of the stables. At least she was somewhere in the building Rose thought grimly as she set about searching the classrooms one by one. The school was large, but not big enough that Jenny would be able to hide for long. Unfortunately there was no sign of her on the second floor either and Rose felt the familiar deep seated worry begin coiling in the pit of her stomach.

John’s history classroom was the last place she visited on the second floor and she lingered a moment before searching it, surveying the orderly rows of desks and John’s familiar looping script on the blackboard. Absently erasing one of the letters with her finger as she went, she reached the desk and fingered his cane, resting innocently on the far edge.

When her finger came away filmy with dust she had to smile before turning her attention back to the task at hand. She had barely begun to go through the contents of his desk however when the door handle rattled ominously. Rose hastily snatched up the cane and looked around for somewhere to hide.

Unfortunately the desks provided little cover so she raced over to the heavy drapes that hung at the window and flung herself behind one of them – and just in time too as the sound of two sets of feet came clicking into the classroom. Rose tried to flatten herself even further against the window and it was as she spread her fingers against the glass that she discovered she was not alone.

Her hand touched something warm and soft and Rose all but leapt out of her skin. Luckily she didn’t scream or start flailing about with her cane because the person she turned out to be sharing her hiding place with was none other than Jenny. The woman looked completely terrified, her eyes popping and her mouth slack. Rose brought her free hand up to her lips and pressed a finger to them silently, hoping that Jenny would get the message.

Nodding fervently to show that she understood, the maid cringed back against the window a little more and Rose turned back to take a cautious peep from behind the curtain at who had invaded the classroom.

Her heart sank at the sight. It was Joan, and close behind her was one of the boys who had been at firing practice this afternoon – Jeremy Baines she thought his name was, or maybe Jared. James?

“Mother of mine,” he said and Joan greeted him in kind.

“Son of mine. Have you had any luck in finding the Time Lord?”

“No Mother of mine.” The boys lip curled. “He has hidden himself well.”

Rose felt a great rush of relief. The Family didn’t know about the watch yet – thank god. And at least now she knew that it was more likely to just be missing and not stolen as she had first suspected.

“Well keep looking,” Joan snapped. “We are running out of time. Keep especially close watch on the History Professor – Smith, and his wife. There’s something not quite right about them.”

Behind the curtain Rose cringed a little despite herself. Jenny trembled beside her.

“I sensed it too,” the boy agreed before sniffing once, distastefully. “They smell...odd.”

“Yes. You must keep me informed.” Joan ordered. “We should contact the others.”

Rose jumped as they both shut their eyes and an otherworldly light, emerald green, glowed around them like sickly haloes. Soon though, the light disappeared and the Family made their way to the door.

“Stay safe Son of mine,” Joan said in farewell as she left the room.

“And you, Mother of mine.” Baines responded.

The door clicked shut and they were gone. Still clutching the cane, Rose turned to Jenny who was standing shock still with terror.

“Alright?” she whispered and the maid nodded but didn’t seem capable of moving. Rose reached out a warm hand and gently tugged Jenny out from behind the curtain. “Look, they’re gone now. It’s safe.”

“Oh-oh ma’am!” Jenny whispered as she collapsed, trembling onto the nearest chair. “I was so afraid it was one of them boys again come to get me!”

And she burst into quiet sobs.

Bewildered, Rose knelt beside Jenny and put a hand on her knee. “What d’you mean? What boys?”

“I was out riding my bicycle home from the village,” Jenny admitted between sobs. “And then they came out of nowhere – all of them dressed up as scarecrows. Boys mucking about. They didn’t half give me a fright ma’am.”

Scarecrows?” Rose repeated incredulously. “Seriously?”

“As I live and breathe ma’am, I swear.” Jenny said fervently, wiping at her puffy eyes. “I thought for a moment that they might be tryin’ to kidnap me.” She sniffed then and laughed. “What a daft idea! What would they want with me? But they let me go and I rode fast as I could to get back again.”

“I’m sure it’s nothing.” Rose assured her but Jenny still looked worried.

“What were the Matron and Master Baines talking about just then? They said something about you and Mr. Smith didn’t they?”

“Yeah,” Rose said awkwardly. As much as she didn’t believe that Jenny was in league with the Family she still didn’t want to tell her everything. It could be dangerous. “Jenny, do you remember seeing a fob watch in my room this morning? On the mantel?”

Jenny frowned in confusion. “A fob watch ma’am?”

“On the mantel, yeah.” Rose confirmed. “A silver fob watch with a pattern engraved into it. Lots of circles.”

“I’m not sure ma’am,” Jenny said, still frowning. “I don’t think so. Is it important?”

Rose laughed mirthlessly. “It’s the most important thing in the whole world. You sure you don’t remember seeing it?”

Jenny simply shook her head. “I’m sorry Mrs. Smith. I did dust the mantel but I’m not allowed to really touch the Professor’s personal belongings. Especially not jewellery or watches – not worth the trouble if it goes missing you see. My sister lost her job once because the missus of the household found her looking at her necklaces and things. Said she was going to steal something. Course she wouldn’t ever but...”

“If you see the watch around,” Rose interrupted. “Can you let me know? Only it’s gone missing and it was my, um, my fathers. It’s really special.”

“Of course Mrs. Smith.” Jenny said fervently. “Anything ma’am.”

“Thanks,” Rose said, helping her up. “And...be careful yeah?”

They parted company on the stairs and Rose searched the remaining classrooms and common areas from top to bottom before returning to the room she shared with John. To her mixed surprise and consternation he was waiting impatiently for her there, along with their supper.

“Hello,” she said awkwardly as she squeezed through the door. “What’s all this?”

“I asked them to bring our supper up for us a little early,” John explained as he helped her into her seat. “So that we could dine before we head off to the dance this evening. Wherever did you disappear to? I’ve been worried.”

“Oh I was just...I fancied a chat with Joan is all.” Rose lied as she unfolded her napkin. “I wanted to ask her if she’d seen the watch anywhere.”

“I hardly think that you’ll find it merely lying around somewhere.” John said as they set to their supper. “The Headmaster agrees with me.”

“Does he?” Rose said absently, not really caring much what Rocastle had to say on the matter.

“Oh yes,” John continued. “He too believes that somebody must have taken it. I took another look in here to make certain but it’s simply nowhere to be found. The Headmaster is to put a notice out at morning assembly asking for its prompt restoration and if it is not returned then he has given permission to begin searching the servant’s quarters and student dormitories for it.”

“That’s a bit much isn’t it?” Rose frowned. “Searching through people’s things?”

“Well if it is a theft then the perpetrator must be punished,” John said resolutely. “‘Thou shalt not steal’ isn’t one of the ten commandments for nothing Rose. Such rules must be honoured and obeyed if...”

Rose tuned him out. She didn’t really mean to, but she’d developed somewhat of a babble-filter with the Doctor wherein she just let him talk until he exhausted himself and then she asked a dumb question so that he would summarise what he’d just said for her. It helped that she liked listening to his voice of course but that was another story altogether.

John kept up his diatribe all the way through supper and by that time Rose was in half a mind to see if they could cancel their plans to go to the dance so she could stay and keep searching for the watch. Before she could even suggest it however, John had retreated to the wash basin to make himself presentable and soon he was buttoning himself into his best suit.

Resignedly, Rose freshened herself up too and then swapped her daytime clothes and boots for a sparkling evening gown and a pair of beaded pumps. John meanwhile was retying his bowtie for what must’ve been the fiftieth time, grumbling quietly to himself every time it flopped the wrong way. She crept up behind him and took over instead, giving it a gentle pat once it was sitting neatly and then nudged him aside so that she could pin her hair up.

It wasn’t until she’d finished making herself up that she realised John was waiting for her. Patient and quiet, he was sitting on the bed nursing something in his lap, a small Cheshire cat grin on his face.

“What’ve you got?” Rose asked as she joined him, excitement rising in her as she wondered if he hadn’t found the watch after all and kept it as a surprise. When he held out a small, flat box to her instead, she did her best to stave off the crushing weight of disappointment.

“It’s a present,” John told her shyly. “For you. I was going to wait until Christmas time to give it to you but after the events of earlier today...I thought perhaps it might cheer you up. It’s no fob watch but...”

Rose took it from him curiously and gently removed the lid. She gaped at the contents, stunned. “Is that...?”

“It’s silver,” John explained, taking the ornate hair comb out of the box eagerly and showing it off, as proud as if he had crafted it himself. “Sterling Silver. With marcasite chips...or, well, pyrite I suppose because marcasite is actually too brittle to be used in...”

“John,” Rose said firmly, stopping him before he got too carried away.

“Oh. Yes. Do you like it?”

He looked worried and Rose had just opened her mouth to assure him that of course she did when he began to babble. “I mean it isn’t much. It’s not as though they’re diamonds or-or-or gems or pearls but...well I saw it and I thought-I thought it would look lovely in your hair so I-I...”

Rose shut him up by pressing a hasty kiss to the corner of his mouth.

“I love it.” She told him and John’s eyes lit up as she took the comb and held it up to her hair so that she could observe the sparkle of the marcasite (or pyrite or whatever the hell it was) in the mirror. “Might not be diamonds,” she told him with a smile. “But it’s still beautiful. Thank you.”

She kissed him softly and he looked very pleased with himself.

“Aren’t you going to wear it now?” he asked, frowning, when she dropped it back into the box.

“Nope. I’m gonna save it for Christmas.” she carefully popped the lid back on the box again as she spoke. “It’s too special to wear to some dance thing in the village.”

John looked absurdly pleased with this assessment and Rose didn’t dare tell him that the action was really more for her own piece of mind than his. Murphy’s law; if she wore it tonight, something awful was bound to happen. If she saved it for later then maybe, just maybe, they’d get through okay. The power of positive thought and all that.

“Oh I wouldn’t really say...” John was stammering. “It’s just a bauble after all...a trifle really...”

I think it’s lovely.” Rose informed him and then got to her feet and offered her arm. “Shall we?”

~*~

To Rose’s intense delight, John’s surprises didn’t finish with the hair ornament. He’d also enlisted their old friend Freddie Yale to give them a lift into the village in his car so that she wouldn’t have to walk the whole way in her good shoes and once there, everyone seemed to be doing their best to divert her. After an initial whirlwind of waltzes and quicksteps, they were surprised to have a song dedicated to them in honour of John’s earlier heroics and soon after they were engulfed briefly by admirers.

Once the crowd had died down a little, Rose decided to sit for a while and John gratefully followed her to a table.

“Goodness!” he laughed. “All of that talking has made me rather thirsty. Would you care for a drink?”

“I’d love one. Cheers.” she smiled up at him, and after he’d disappeared Rose took the opportunity to watch all the other couples dancing happily around the village hall.

It was only then that she noticed the boy sitting quietly in the far corner.

She didn’t know how long he’d been there but Rose would have recognised the uniform anywhere. Panicking a little, she tried to get a good look at who it was without openly staring – more difficult than you would think being as she was in a room full of people who were all milling about and generally getting in the way.

Thankfully, the interloper wasn’t Baines as she had originally feared. Even so, the students had a strict curfew so what was one of them doing out of his dormitory so late?

Getting to her feet, Rose inched her way around the other tables until she was within earshot and then she called out.

“Tim right?” the boy tried to make a show of pretending like he hadn’t been watching her approach but quickly gave in. “Timothy Lattimer?”

“Yes Mrs. Smith,” he said, squirming a little in his chair, a tight look to his face.

“Shouldn’t you be in your dorm?”

“Shouldn’t you be out travelling the stars?” he muttered and Rose went suddenly cold.

“What?” she tried to act nonchalant but Tim looked up at her sadly.

“I’m sorry,” he told. “But...I know everything, Rose Tyler.”

“How d’you...?” Rose wondered faintly and then she realised. “Oh my god – you’re with them too aren’t you?”

“What?” Timothy looked confused. “No! I-I found the watch. The fob watch?”

You’ve got it?” Rose felt a rush of relief that was quickly replaced by frustration. “I’ve been looking for it all day! When’d you swipe it? When you came to get that book?”

Tim had the grace to look abashed. “It called to me,” he told her apologetically. “It told me to keep it safe.”

Rose bristled. “Yeah well you didn’t need to,” she told him, feeling quite put out. “I was doing just fine looking after it myself thanks.”

“Yes but that’s just the thing,” Timothy said, glancing around the room surreptitiously before continuing on in a hushed voice. “You can’t just keep it safe any longer Rose – you’re going to have to open it. They’re here, in the village, the school, and they’re getting closer and closer to...”

“Look I know the Family’s here alright? But I can’t open it until the three months are up!” Rose hissed. “Otherwise...”

“Lattimer?” John’s voice came, loud and confused into their conversation. He was holding two drinks – a beer for himself and a glass of something clear and bubbling for Rose. “What on earth are you doing here?”

“I was just leaving sir,” Timothy said quickly and got to his feet. “Good night sir. Ma’am.”

John frowned in consternation as the boy sped off, glancing back over his shoulder at the two of them as he did so.

“What was all that about?” John wanted to know and Rose shrugged, leading him back to the table they had acquired earlier.

“Nothing,” she lied. “He just wanted to say hello.”

“Oh,” John said, but he was still frowning as he put down their drinks and made to settle down in his chair.

“So!” Rose said, faux cheerful as she plucked up her glass and tilted it towards her mouth. “What’d you get me? Wine? Champagne?”

John opened his mouth to speak but just at that moment there was the unmistakable sound of a laser weapon being fired close by. Rose bolted to her feet in shock and whipped her head around, searching. It took her several seconds to place where the noise had come from.

“There will be silence!” a familiar voice roared from the main door. “All of you!”

Rose looked on in horror as a crowd of scarecrows shambled into the hall headed by Mr. Hart, Baines and Joan. Several people screamed and Hart glared around at them all.

“I said silence!” he roared and there was a short sputter as the record player stopped.

“I say Mr. Hart!” Mr. Chambers, the emcee stood up. “What’s going on?”

Without any preamble, Hart turned and fired his weapon, disintegrating Mr. Chambers into nothing.

“No!” Rose burst out before she could stop herself.

“We asked for silence!” Baines ordered and then turned his gaze to the crowd, clearly searching for someone. His eyes paused when he reached Rose and she stiffened as his gaze slid from her to John who immediately stood up and put a hand on her arm. “Now then! We have a few questions for Mr. and Mrs. Smith.”

Rose grabbed John’s hand where it rested on her arm. He for his part just looked utterly bewildered.

“I beg your pardon?” he spluttered. “W-what’s going on here?”

A little voice piped up from the corner as if in answer and Rose was shocked to see Lucy Cartwright standing up quite calmly, a balloon caught in her hand and a hard look in her eyes.

“There is no need for questions Family of mine!” she said gleefully as she moved to join the other three. “The teacher is the Doctor. I heard his wife talking to one of the boys!”

John looked down at Rose in shock but she didn’t dare meet his gaze. Instead she looked at the Family, the bodies they had taken over.

“You took human form,” Baines observed, eyeing John with interest.

“I’m sorry?”John spluttered. “Of course I’m human – I was born human! As were you Baines, and Matron, and you, Mr. Hart! What is going on?”

“Oh, and a human brain too!” Baines said in delight. “Simple, thick and dull.”

“Well he certainly isn’t going to be any good to us like this,” Joan said, her usually quiet voice cold and flat.

“We need a Time Lord,” Hart agreed.

“Oh,” Baines shrugged. “Well that’s easily done.”

Stepping forward casually, he raised his arm so that his gun was pointing straight at John. There was a collective gasp around the room and Rose gripped his arm so tight she was certain she was cutting off the circulation.

“Change back.” Baines ordered simply.

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about,” John said, voice wobbling even as he surreptitiously tried to push Rose behind him and out of harm’s way. She clung stubbornly to his sleeve, refusing to budge.

“Change back!” Baines snarled and John raised his own voice in turn, somewhat hysterically in his case.

“I literally, do not know...”

“Oh enough of this!” Joan spat and pulled out her own gun before advancing on them both. “We have no time for games, Time Lord!”

Instinctively Rose went to dodge one way and John the other, but Joan merely went for the closest victim.

“No!” John cried, reaching out desperately for his wife. But Joan was too fast. Before he could do anything Rose was in a half nelson with a gun pressed against her temple.

“What if I shoot your wife?” Joan leered at John, her breath hot and horrible on Rose’s cheek. “Does that frighten you enough to change back Doctor?” she abruptly tightened her hold and Rose choked a little at the pressure on her windpipe. “Does it?”

“I don’t understand what you’re talking about!” John said desperately. “Please! Let my wife go, she’s done nothing to warrant this!”

“Not until you change back.” Baines took a menacing step forward, his eyes dancing with cold malice. “You have until the count of five Time Lord, and then Mother of mine will pull the trigger and your love will be no more. One.”

John stood, horror struck. Lucy watched the proceedings with fascinated excitement, egging Baines on with hissed whispers of encouragement. Hart merely watched coldly as Rose struggled against Joan’s stranglehold, but to no avail.

“John,” she gasped once she’d realised she wasn’t going to breaking free anytime soon. “Whatever happens to me, it’s not your fault alright?”

He looked utterly lost, hands fluttering uselessly. “Rose...” he whispered pleadingly but she only closed her eyes and swallowed hard.

Two.”

God this was really it, wasn’t it? There was no Doctor around to save her in the nick of time. Worse, she had failed to save him. The Family was going to get him one way or another; she was just a hindrance to them really at this point. A bargaining chip.

“Please...” John begged, sounding close to tears. “Please I-I don’t...”

Three.”

“Wait, stop! Please! Don’t!”

His voice cracked into a terrified shriek and Rose felt sick. She was about to die seventy years before she’d even been born and then the Doctor was going to die and she couldn’t do a thing about it. Fleetingly she thought of non-linear timelines and a cool hand threading desperately through hers.

We’ll go down fighting yeah?

I’m so glad I met you.


“I’ll do anything! Anything you ask of me. Just please let her go!”

“I ask you to change back Doctor and you will not. Thus, I resume my counting. Four!”

John sobbed desperately. “Please!”

And then a new voice spoke – in her mind or her ear she couldn’t tell. A voice that Rose had only heard as a recording in over two months and it said two words – just two.

Time Lord...

Rose’s eyes flew open in shock at the same moment that Joan stiffened and her grip loosened just enough to let Rose duck out of her stranglehold. Wrestling the gun clumsily from the Matrons limp hand, Rose backed into John, trying desperately to point it at all four members of the Family at the same time.

“Nobody move!” she shouted, voice cracking like mad and hands trembling. “Or I’ll shoot!”

“Rose!” John gasped although whether his tone was admiring or shocked she couldn’t quite tell.

Baines merely laughed at her and Rose felt her temper flare. “What, don’t think I will?” she fired a quick shot just over his head and blew a gaping hole in the wall. The Family looked instantly warier.

“Careful, Son of mine,” Hart said warningly. “This is all for you so that you can live forever...”

“Shoot you down!” Baines seemed to barely be in control of himself, his hand trembling around his gun.

“Go on then.” Rose goaded him. “Try it! Go on!”

Baines looked quite deranged and for a second Rose thought he might actually shoot her. “Oh how I should like to!” he said with relish, grip tightening on the gun momentarily before, casual as you please, he lowered it to his side. Rose didn’t move. Keeping her eyes glued on the Family she spoke to John over her shoulder.

“John, get everyone out. There’s gotta be a back exit or something.” When he didn’t move Rose stomped on his foot as hard as she could. “John!”

“Ah!” he yelped but then seemed to recover his scattered wits a little. “Right. Yes. Everyone out!” he began to shepherd them all to the door. The villagers pushed and shoved and screamed their way to the door and then scarpered as fast as they could. Rose edged backwards towards the door too, all the while keeping an eye on the Family.

“So you found us then,” she said, pausing in the doorway and trying to sound tougher and braver than she felt. She didn’t really have a good track record in terms of negotiating with hostile aliens so hopefully that was all about to change. “Took your time didn’t you?”

Behind the doorframe John tugged at her flimsy overskirt desperately but Rose batted him away with her free hand. She had an idea brewing but she had to find the right spot to shoot first and for that she had to stall for a little time.

“Yes but it will all be worth it,” Joan said, her pale eyes glittering as she stepped forward. “To live and breed all across the universe. Eternal life!” she inhaled deeply, as if already savouring the smell of success.

“And then what?” Rose asked, eyes still darting around but always returning to the Family. “You gonna leave Joan and Lucy and the others alone? Do they go back to normal?”

“Oh I’m afraid they’re quite dead.” Baines said casually but at Rose’s stricken look he tutted sympathetically. “Oh but look! She has a tender heart this one.”

“You killed them.” Rose said, sickened. “Joan and Mr. Hart...Lucy was just a little girl! How could you do that?”

“Oh but how could we not Mrs. Smith?” Hart said, eyes gleaming. “It’s a small price to pay really. For immortality.”

“For immortality!” Lucy repeated reverently and Rose nearly lost what little composure she had gathered.

“You...!” she stopped herself before she started ranting and then once she’d collected herself she shook her head at the Family. “Not kids,” she said quietly, close to tears. “Not a little girl. That’s just disgusting.”

“Oh how the heart bleeds.” Baines intoned dramatically and then scoffed at her. “So what is your plan now silly girl? Or are you just going to stand there all night and witter on like some...”

Rose seized her chance. Raising the gun, she aimed it, not at the Family but at the ceiling. Several quick shots and one of the main support beams fell down, bringing half of the roof with it.

Turning to John she found him slack-jawed and shock still. “Don’t just stand there staring!” she snapped, all but shoving him out the door. “Run!”

Outside they paused to look back at the hall and Rose was amazed to see how much damage she’d actually done. “Wow.” she said and John turned to her, utterly speechless.

“That was...that...” he stammered and Rose waited nervously for his verdict. “Utterly magnificent! How on Earth did you know to do that?”

“Smarter than I look yeah?” Rose grinned cheekily and then squealed as John lifted her off her feet in an impromptu hug so reminiscent of the Doctor that she was inclined to forget that it wasn’t him.

“Get them!”

Jumping out of John’s arms, Rose took one look at the Family and their army of scarecrows before she turned tail and fled, John in hot pursuit. Rose fired her stolen gun over her shoulder several times as they ran, hoping she might discourage the Family from following but the shots grew weaker and weaker until there was nothing to fire at all.

“Stupid laser guns!” Rose huffed as she tossed it aside. “You’d think somebody’d invent one with decent batteries!”

“Batt-what?” John repeated, bewildered.

“Oh for...never mind! Run!”

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